


third time’s a charm

by allmywill



Category: Duran Duran
Genre: 1980s, Denial of Feelings, Developing Relationship, Drunkenness, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-06-25 22:58:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19755487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allmywill/pseuds/allmywill
Summary: Two times Nick and John almost got together and the one time they did.





	third time’s a charm

**Author's Note:**

> i’ve been working on this for way too long! i wanted to have it up weeks ago, but life and work got in the way. nonetheless, here it is, and i hope you enjoy!!

_1981_

John was nowhere to be found, and the show would be starting in a few minutes. Nick knew he wasn’t responsible for him, he was a grown man and could perfectly well take care of himself, yet he still went around the venue backstage to see if he could find him. He had been everywhere and there was no sign of his band mate.

“Have you seen John recently?” Nick asked Simon when they crossed paths in the dark hallway.

Simon shook his head. “No, I’ve not. Check outside yet? He might be having a smoke.”

Nick hadn’t thought of that. “I will now. Thanks, mate.”

He hurried away before they could have another word. He opened the door out to the back of the building, hoping he would be there. His eyes fell upon John, leaning up against the brick building smoking a cigarette. Nick breathed a little sigh of relief before making his way over to him.

“Looked everywhere for you,” Nick started, slightly out of breath. “Everything alright?”

It was getting quite dark, the sun setting for the evening, so it was difficult to see the expression on John’s face. His silhouette overshadowed Nick’s own, since he had several inches on his band mate. From what Nick could sense from his presence, he seemed perturbed by something. He watched the end of his cigarette, how its steady glow contrasted against the approaching night.

He breathed out a cloud of smoke, disappearing in the air before he uttered, “yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

Nick pulled out his own pack of cigarettes, just for something to do with his hands, lighting one and bringing it to his glossy lips. “You don’t typically disappear like that right before we’re on, that’s all.”

John drew more smoke into his lungs and held it for a moment. He then released it, along with a heavy sigh. “Just got a lot on my mind.” He turned to look at Nick for the first time since he joined him, meeting his earnest green eyes.

“So... you’re not fine,” Nick voiced after a drag.

“I dunno anymore,” John replied. He threw his spent cigarette to the pavement and put it out with the heel of his boot. “Think I ought to just put my head down and play tonight, not worry about it, you know?”

“Well, that depends. What’s bothering you so much?”

John half-smiled, a forced, lopsided kind of grin that told Nick everything and nothing at the same time. He took a step closer to him and looked as if he was about to say something, but then decided against it.

“We should get going, band’s probably looking for us now,” John spoke finally after a long pause in conversation.

Nick took a final drag of his cigarette before discarding it. “Yeah, we should. Talk later?”

Another pause from John. “Yeah,” was all he said in reply.

Throughout the entire show, Nick couldn’t stop thinking about his chat with John. He kept close watch on him, thinking about what he said. He watched him as he worked the stage, back and forth, mingling with Simon and Andy. They started their last song of the night and Nick found himself glad that the show was almost over.

He decided to leave John alone until they got back to their hotel. Luckily, the two of them were sharing a room that night. He was itching to know what had John so distraught earlier that evening. It wasn’t like him to act that way, to hide his feelings, especially from his closest friend. Nick knew it probably didn’t have anything to do with him, yet he still felt guilty, like he could have done more in that moment.

They got to their room, exhausted from their high energy performance. John plopped himself on one of the neatly made beds as soon as he walked in the room, earning a chuckle from Nick behind him.

“Wanna sleep forever,” John mumbled into the pillow, face down.

“I think eight hours will be plenty,” Nick joked. His voice was lighthearted, but he was being plagued by his own mind. His thoughts were growing loud, urging him to address the situation as soon as possible. He would continue to worry if he didn’t say something.

He put down his suitcase by the door after locking it. Turning around, he paced over to the bed John had already claimed as his own and turned on the lamp on the bedside table. He sat down, mere inches from him. He had his arms tucked underneath his body, his face hidden by the soft pillow. John felt the dip in the bed, so he rolled over and met Nick’s gaze.

“How do I know what you’re going to say before you even open your mouth?” John asked, brows raised.

“Because you know me too well.” Nick looked down at the duvet, his hair falling in his eyes. “And what do you think I’m going to say?”

John shifted in the bed, opting to lie on his back. He looked up at the ceiling, figuring that might be easier than looking into Nick’s eyes again. The weight of the secret he had been hiding was growing to be heavier than he ever thought it would. “You’re going to ask me about earlier, what’s on my mind, whatever.”

Nick continued to watch him, his gaze full of intent. “Of course I am. You made me worry.”

“Okay, fine,” John caved, opting to only tell him part of the truth. “Promise you won’t, like, freak out or anything.”

“Why would I? God, John, you’re really making me wonder what’s gotten into you.” Nick scooted closer to him, then joined him, lying down next to him with his head on the other half of the pillow.

He didn’t see John’s breath hitch when their bodies brushed against one another.

John turned his head, suddenly feeling very vulnerable in this position. They’d known each other for so long that it shouldn’t have felt like that, he shouldn’t have felt like his skin was going to melt off if Nick moved any closer. It wasn’t a feeling people felt around their friends, even as close as they were.

A few moments of silence passed between them, Nick waiting for John to start explaining. He had his hands clasped and resting on his stomach. He looked so calm and composed, while John was freaking out inside. He envied Nick’s disposition, how he never was visibly nervous.

As he silently wished he could be as relaxed as Nick, he had turned over on his side, and was closer, somehow. John could feel his body heat radiating off of him. Or maybe that was just his own. He wasn’t sure. Maybe he was insanely attracted to Nick, maybe it was all just hormones. Maybe it was something real that he wouldn’t be getting over, unless...

“Well?” Nick’s eyes felt like lasers on his skin.

John swallowed his pride. “I think I’m bi,” he spoke, the words feeling foreign on his tongue. He looked at Nick, waiting for his reaction.

There was no reaction; he didn’t even look surprised. “That’s it? That’s what you were so scared of telling me?” Nick smiled, which eased John’s worried mind substantially.

“We never talked about that kind of stuff before, so I didn’t know how you felt about it.” John felt better already, yet his heart was still pounding in his chest. “And when’s a good time to bring it up? Oh, hey Nick, by the way, I like guys just as much as I like girls. Alright, now that that’s out of the way, let’s rehearse for the show tonight-”

Nick started giggling, the sweet sound making John’s head spin. He reached out to nudge his shoulder in a playful manner. The action stopped him from rambling more.

“John, come on. Look at me. You seriously think _I’m_ straight?” Nick raised his brows at him, unafraid to confess his own orientation. He was his best friend, after all.

It had definitely crossed John’s mind, the possibility of Nick being into guys, yet he didn’t want to assume. “I had my doubts,” he replied, face growing hot.

“I’m bi, too,” Nick admitted. “Though I do find myself leaning more towards guys. Shit, maybe I’m gay, who knows.”

John smiled at that, an intoxicating feeling filling his body. He had a chance, when he had been doubting it for so long. Nick was in his reach, if only he could just muster up enough nerve to tell him. The timing would be perfect...

But he did no such thing.

Instead, he looked his best friend in the eyes. “Doesn’t matter to me either way. As long as you’re happy, that’s all that really matters.”

“The same goes for you.” Nick took one of John’s hands in his own hands, wrapping his fingers around it. It was bigger than his own, and he could feel the hard callouses formed by his bass strings. “You’re wonderful just the way you are.”

John held his breath for a few moments, as if it would prolong space and time. He laid there wishing he could somehow freeze time, so Nick could look at him with that glint in his eyes forever. He never wanted him to look away, never wanted to break the spell.

All the things he could have said circled round and round in his head. He let them spiral and opted to keep his mouth closed for now. He squeezed Nick’s hands, hoping that he understood through that small action alone just what he wanted to tell him.

_1982_

They all had good feelings about this new record; inspiration and drive was flowing all throughout the studio. _Rio_ was coming together more and more each day, and all five of them were ecstatic about it.

After wrapping up a long day of recording, they decided to have a fun night out, have a few drinks and relax a little before calling it a night. But John seemed to have other plans in mind. He earned a concerned glance from Roger as he beckoned the bartender over for the fifth time within the hour.

Roger tapped Nick on the shoulder, the troubled look on his face evident, even underneath the dim multicolored lighting in the club. Nick turned to him as he leaned close enough to talk over the loud music. ”I’m keeping an eye on John over there. Don’t want him to get too carried away.”

Nick nodded. “Yeah, I am too. We’re in the studio again in the morning. This was probably a bad idea, knowing him.” He smiled sadly as he watched John get up from his seat and walk off into a crowd of strangers.

“And there he goes. It’s getting pretty late, we should get going.” Roger was, without a doubt, the sensible one. He always noticed when one of them was slipping; he kept his band mates in line. They surely needed it.

“I agree,” Nick replied. He got up out of his seat, ready to go fetch their bassist so they all could leave. “I’m going to get him. You’re in charge of Charlie and Andy.”

“An honor,” Roger laughed softly, though the heavy beat of the dance song playing swallowed the sound. “We’ll meet you guys by the door, then.”

Nick set off, walking fast and weaving through people far too drunk for their own good. He scanned his surroundings, looking for John’s face among all the stranger’s faces. He was on the other side of the room before he even caught a glimpse of him. He appeared to be deep in conversation with a short blonde girl, whose eccentric eye makeup was smeared down her cheeks. Perhaps she’d had a long night, too.

If Nick hadn’t grabbed his shoulder, John wouldn’t have even known he was there.

“John, c’mon, we’re leaving.” The girl looked at Nick with narrowed eyes; if looks could kill, he might have been dead.

John tried to shove him away, but he ended up stumbling back into him. Nick helped support his weight so he didn’t end up on the club floor, like some sorry blackout drunk. “Nick, not now, ‘m talking to her!” his voice came out slurred, which was a given, taking into account how much he’d had to drink.

Nick needed to end this, and fast. “Don’t worry, neither of you will remember the other in the morning. Let’s go.” With that, he started to pull John towards the door, and to his surprise, was met with no resistance.

“ _Nick,_ ” John whined, “let me go, for fuck’s sake.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Nick tightened his grip on him. He was practically holding him at this point, with an arm around his waist and one of John’s long arms slung over his slender shoulders. “Because if I do, you’ll be on the ground.”

John suddenly became dead weight in the middle of a mass of people. “S-Stop for a second,” he mumbled.

“What? No John, you gotta help me out here.”

“Need to talk... to you.” It sounded like he was struggling to get the words out, like he had something important to say and was afraid of saying it.

Nick somehow got the two of them into the men’s room. He quite literally shoved John up against the tiled wall, to get him to bear his own weight. His eyes went wide with that, his back straightened as he leaned against the wall.

“What’s wrong?” Nick knew he was being a little harsh, albeit he cared and just wanted John to talk to him for once, even if he was intoxicated.

Then a smile spread across John’s face. “You’re pretty.” He reached out to touch Nick’s face, but wasn’t very graceful about it. “I think about kissing you, like... all the time.”

Nick’s heart took a plunge into his stomach. He knew John was drunk, and had no idea what he was saying, yet hearing him say those words had adrenaline running through his veins. What if, _what if..._

“John, I-”

“Shh,” John let out, as he put a finger over Nick’s lips. Some of his lipstick came off onto his finger, the pink color smearing.

Nick grabbed his wrist and yanked his hand away, before things went any further. “We’re leaving,” he stated, voice stern. “The others are waiting for us, we’ll have this talk later.”

John was still smiling, so out of it as Nick dragged him out the restroom doors. “Promise?” he leaned down to whisper into his ear.

A shiver found its way down Nick’s spine, and he knew he was fucked. “I promise, John.”

The next morning, John awoke with a pounding in his head. As he opened his eyes, he made the discovery that he was in Nick’s apartment, but, more specifically, in his bedroom. When he looked down at the sheets that covered him, he almost screamed. He was in Nick’s _bed_ ; he didn’t know of anyone else who had pink sheets.

He heard footsteps as he sat up, a few soft beats before they came to a halt at the door. Looking over, John’s eyes met Nick’s, and his skin suddenly felt clammy.

“How do you feel?” Nick asked. He crossed the small room, a glass of water and a bottle of ibuprofen in hand.

John watched him, noting how lovely his red hair looked even when it wasn’t styled. He took the glass and Nick put two pills in his palm. “Like I drank way too much last night,” he said, before washing the medicine down with a gulp of water.

Nick gave him a look, concern written all over his face. He sat down on the bed and bit his lip. He figured he’d ask what he’d been dying to ask since it happened. “Do you remember anything you said last night?”

“All I remember is...” John trailed off, trying to recall anything from the night before. His mind came up blank. “Fuck, what did I say?”

That was when Nick’s well thought out script fell to pieces. He had everything planned out, had every possible scenario accounted for, and still, he couldn’t will himself to say what he wanted to say. It didn’t feel right. John would think he was crazy, or lying, or both. Maybe it was all just nonsense from John’s drunken mind, maybe Nick was reading too far into the whole thing. Maybe John wasn’t into him like he thought.

“Nothing bad, just weird shit. Drunken nonsense.” Nick was eager to change the subject. “How about some breakfast before we head to the studio?”

John could have sworn he saw a blush on Nick’s cheeks, though his head was still pounding. He could’ve been seeing things. It would take time for the pills to work their magic. “Sounds fantastic.”

Nick smiled, then got to his feet. “I’ll call you down when it’s ready.”

When he turned and left, John flopped back down in his bed, letting Nick’s sheets engulf him. He let himself imagine Nick being there with him, his mind wandering through scenes: the two of them holding each other, hands caressing skin, tender kisses shared in their warm blanket cocoon. Closing his eyes, he dreamed up something a little more risky.

John pictured Nick touching him, the two of them stripped, without clothes to get in the way of their roaming hands. Nick would put his mouth on his neck, leaving a trail of hot, breathy kisses down his chest, with those hypnotizing lips of his. He knew he had to stop fantasizing, or else he’d be in big trouble. They had another busy day ahead. He needed to get his head on straight.

If only he could remember what he’d said the night before.

_1983_

They always had fun doing video shoots, although they were incredibly tiring. Lucky for the rest of the band, this one had Simon heavily involved, with the others appearing for only a few short clips. After they got their shots with him, the four of them stayed to watch the rest of the shoot for _Is There Something I Should Know?_

Andy and Roger were deep in conversation, which left Nick and John together, sitting side by side. Neither had anything to say, so they sat in companionable silence. The two of them were absorbed in their thoughts. What they didn’t know was that their thoughts were very similar.

John ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath. Nick was so close, close enough that he could reach over and touch him. He wanted to. He wanted to grab his face and kiss him in the worst way, forgetting that the room was full of people. He wanted Nick even more than he wanted him before, if that was possible.

He took a chance and looked over at him. His brows were knitted together, his face suggesting he was thinking deeply about something. His chin was resting on his hand, and John watched his lashes fan as he blinked.

Then Nick turned his head and caught him staring. They made eye contact, which made a small smile spread across both their faces.

“Is there something I should know?” Nick joked, acting casual. He had to admit to himself that catching John looking at him like that felt rather electrifying.

John was just glad the lights were directed at the set before them, and not his face. Nick was _definitely_ flirting with him, it wasn’t his imagination this time. “Maybe,” he retorted.

“Why are you looking at me like that? Care to tell?” Nick knew he was starting a conversation that had been in progress for a couple years now. The prospect of it finally happening was almost enough to send him reeling towards John, not caring how they collided, as long as they did.

John stood up from his seat abruptly. “Follow me.”

The two of them slipped away unnoticed, for the time being. Nick’s heart started pounding in his chest as they walked into a small dressing room, filled with racks of clothes. John closed the door behind him. They were finally alone. Together. The air suddenly seemed heavy with words unspoken, secrets that were on the brink of becoming confessions.

Nick parted his lips to speak, but before he could utter a single word, John’s lips were on his. He gasped out of shock, then began to kiss back. He had waited for this for too many years not to indulge in every second of it. Melting against John, he pulled him closer by bringing his hands to his face. He needed him to know that he wanted this too.

Their lips moved together for what felt like centuries. When they parted for air, it was as if that heaviness disappeared; they could see clearly now. Everything made sense, all the years of almosts and maybes. They were over.

John’s lungs were burning, but it was easy to ignore. His dreams had come true. “I’ve been... dying to tell you that,” he spoke in fragments, his chest rising and falling in rapid movements.

“How long?” Nick asked him.

“Too long,” John replied, pressing their bodies closer together. If the walls closed in on them, he wouldn’t care at all. “God, Nick, years.”

“Me too,” Nick laughed out. He let his face fall onto John’s chest, let him take him into his arms, so warm and comforting. It felt like coming home. “We’re idiots,” he remarked. “Complete goddamn morons.”

He felt John smile on his shoulder.

“I doubted it. I doubted that you’d ever want me,” John started, recalling how he felt just a few short months prior. “Guess I was wrong, considering that kiss was met with pure enthusiasm.”

“Oh, shut up. You’re insane.” Nick pulled back from their embrace to look into his eyes. “I’ll show you enthusiasm.”

Nick leaned forward and pressed their lips together again, more careful and chaste this time around. He felt John move them, his back now against the wall behind him. Compared to him, he felt so small; the bassist towering over his petite frame. He liked it, in a way.

John pulled away, in favor of leaving a trail of kisses down the exposed part of his neck. He began to undo his pink tie, loosening it so he could unbutton his shirt, when Nick’s hands caught his own.

“Wait,” he said, his voice a soft whisper. “This... means a lot to me, and I’d rather not have it be in a closet.”

“Yeah, probably not the best idea,” John agreed. He fixed his tie to make it look like they hadn’t just been all over each other between racks of clothes.

Nick helped to fix John’s hair, since it looked rather suspicious, being all mussed up. “Don’t worry, I’m not finished with you yet.” He winked at him, then opened the door to go back out to the set.

“I sure hope not.” John replied with a sigh, quite dreamily. Nick could drive him wild forever and he wouldn’t mind one bit. He’d let him.

_1986_

Things had blossomed between them since that day almost three years before. They wasted no time diving in to the relationship they were too oblivious to start back when their feelings did. Even the other members noticed it; their bond was strong and it was near impossible to pry them apart.

They seemed to cling together even more when Roger and Andy left, further realizing just how much the band meant to them. They kept Simon close, it was almost as if he lived with them in the house they bought together. He was there more often than he wasn’t.

The three of them had a plane to catch soon. Their tour would be starting, and excitement filled their veins just thinking about it. But Nick and John were still snuggled up in their bed, reluctant to part and get ready to leave.

Nick’s head rested on John’s shoulder instead of the pillow. He was thinking about all the times they had almost got together, when they were younger and not as smart. “John?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you remember that night a few years back, when we were doing Rio?” Nick asked, looking up at him. “We all went out after leaving the studio and you got insanely drunk?”

John chuckled softly. He let a hand run along Nick’s bare back, fingers ghosting his skin, the touch delicate. “Hardly. I remember you taking care of me the morning after, that’s all.”

“Well, as I tried to drag you out of that dingy club, you told me I was pretty and you thought about kissing me all the time.”

“Are you serious?” John’s eyes went wide. “And you didn’t tell me until now?”

Nick shook his head, his messy blonde locks falling in his eyes. “I was too afraid then, and kinda forgot about it for a while.”

“If it makes any difference now, I still think you’re pretty and I still think about kissing you all the time,” John cooed, nuzzling his face in the crook of Nick’s neck.

“I’d hope so.” Nick pulled him back so he could kiss his lips, letting himself melt into John one last time before they got out of bed to catch their plane.


End file.
